


You Know Me

by Bbnabhk



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 13,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22262170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bbnabhk/pseuds/Bbnabhk
Summary: Robbie is in an accident and can’t remember his life with Gary.
Relationships: Gary Barlow/Robbie Williams
Comments: 16
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Gary’s POV

“Gary, there’s been an accident.”

I feel my heart stop momentarily as I wait with baited breath for the news. Michael’s voice is filled with panic and worry. He’s Rob’s manager. He never outwardly shows his anxieties.

“Rob’s been in a car accident. He’s still in surgery.” He seems at a loss for words.

“Where are you?” I’m already getting dressed to go out the door.

“Royal London Hospital.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” I say as I grab my keys.

—

We wait in a stuffy waiting room under bright fluorescent lights. It’s making my eyes twitch as I try to steady my breathing. He has to be okay, I keep telling myself.

Michael is beside me recounting the events of the evening. I’m only half-listening. A driver ran a light and smashed straight into the side of the car where Rob was sitting. Michael, who was in the front of the car, looks a little banged up too but refused to be checked out. Like me, he needs to be here when Rob comes out of surgery.

It seems like an eternity before the surgeon comes out. He’s got blood on his sleeves, Rob’s blood. I bite my lip as he approaches. His face is unreadable.

“Physically, he’s going to be just fine. A few broken ribs and bruises from the seatbelt. There was, however, some intracranial bleeding, and we had to drill in to relieve some of the pressure. We won’t know how much damage was done until he wakes up. It’ll be a while. I suggest you get some rest. We can call you when he—”

I cut him off. “I’m staying,” I say, shaking my head at any other option.

“Me too,” Michael says, just as stubborn.

The doctor sighs. “You can sit with him in the room. We can get you some pillows and blankets. It won’t make it any more comfortable in there. The nurse can show you the way.” He points to a young lady standing by the double doors.

“Thank you,” I tell him before we follow the nurse past the doors. 

She leads us to a room opposite the nurses’ station. “We’re all big fans,” she tells us quietly. “If there’s anything you need, just let us know.”

I nod at her and step into the room. The sight knocks the wind out of me - Rob lying unconscious, bandages around his head, wires and tubes going into him. I brace myself against the wall. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening!

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Michael is pushing me towards the bed. “You can’t fall apart on him now.”

He’s right. Recovery will take weeks, months even. I have to be strong, and I have to be patient. I take Rob’s hand into mine and squeeze it gently. “I’m right here, babe. Wake up, and let me see those bright green eyes.”

Michael pulls two chairs up to the bed, and we sit and wait for sleeping beauty to awake.

—

I must have dozed off because there’s a hand shaking me awake.

“He woke up.”

My head snaps straight up, and I see green eyes staring into mine. He’s confused, which quickly turns into anger.

“Did you come here to gloat?” Rob spits at me.

“What?” Now I’m confused.

“Or did you come to see if you’d be rid of me for good?”

“Rob,” I say, taking his hand, “what are you talking about?”

He snatches his hand back. “Or is this good press for the next single?”

“I’m not even done recording my album. Rob, I think you might be a little confused. You banged your head a bit in the accident.” I reach out to touch his face but he dodges my fingers.

“I’m not confused. ‘Shine’ is being released next week. You obviously wrote the song about me; might as well get the photo op while you’re at it.”

I hear a gasp next to me. Michael finally speaks up. “Rob, what year do you think it is?”

“2007. Why?”

“It’s 2020.”


	2. Chapter 2

Robbie’s POV 

I shake my head vigorously. “You’re lying.” I look from one worried face to the other. “You’re taking the piss.” I’m not so sure anymore. They both look older, but I haven’t seen Gary in person since 1997. It’s been 10 years, not 23. “Right?” I ask aloud.

Gary takes my hand in his again. He nods to Michael to go fetch the doctor and then turns his attention back to me. “The doctor is going to take a look at you. It’ll be alright, babe.”

I stare down at our intertwined hands. “Babe?” I look up, and his eyes are filled with anguish.

“You really don’t remember?” His voice is shaky. This isn’t the Gary Barlow I know.

“Remember what?”

He raises my hand to his lips, and my eyes widen as he kisses my knuckles. When did I get LOVE tattooed on them? When did Gary start kissing me like that… or at all? I should pull away, but his lips are so soft and gentle against my fingers. It’s comforting, and I’ll admit it - I’m scared.

“We’re together?” I ask hesitantly.

He nods. “Yeah.”

“I’m not gay,” I say pointedly.

He laughs. “No you’re not. You think both sexes are fair game.”

“Are you gay?” I question, trying to wrap my head around the situation.

He shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve spent the last 10 years with the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Oh.” He means me. This can’t be the Gary Barlow I know.

He looks at me expectantly, and I honestly don’t know what to say. Thankfully, I’m saved by the doctor and Michael walking back in. Gary lets go of my hand as soon as he realizes we’re no longer alone.

“Robbie,” the doctor says, shaking my hand. “I’m Doctor Smith. I’m a huge fan.”

“Cheers, mate.”

“Your friend tells me you’re having a bit of trouble remembering the past few years.”

“Yeah, that’s putting it lightly.”

“Retrograde amnesia could be a result of the swelling that occurred or even from the brain trauma during the crash. I’m going to schedule a few tests.”

I pout. I hate hospitals. They remind me of rehab. “When can I go home?”

He looks at his chart. “Well, physically, you seem to be doing fine. A couple of broken ribs and some scrapes here and there. Those will heal with time and rest. I’ll discuss your tests with the neurologist, and we’ll go from there.”

“He hates hospitals,” Gary explains. “They remind him of rehab.” What kind of Jedi mind trick is this?

The doctor nods. “Understood. I’ll schedule these scans right away and get in touch with the neurologist.”

“Thank you.” He shakes the doctor’s hand and walks with him as he leaves the room, continuing to speak with him quietly. That’s the Gary I know, always taking charge of the situation. I feel oddly safer knowing he’s handling things.


	3. Chapter 3

Gary’s POV

A few days and several tests later, we receive the news that Robbie can finally go home. His amnesia situation hasn’t improved, but his doctors hope that being in a familiar environment will help trigger his memory. It could take days, weeks, or even months, they said. We sign the appropriate discharge paperwork, and they talk me through how to change the dressings for his wounds. I can do this, I tell myself. I can nurse Robbie back to health.

It would be a lot easier if he weren’t so reluctant for my help though.

While we are driving home, he looks at me and asks, “Where are we going?”

“Home,” I tell him simply.

“I don’t live in Kensington.”

“Yes, we do. You moved in years ago.”

He frowns. “I want to go back to MY house.”

I sigh, but I turn the car around nonetheless. There’s no point in getting him worked up this early on in the recovery process. We pull up to his flat, and he just stares.

“You sold your house when we moved in together,” I explain. “You only have this flat to throw off suspicion from the paparazzi.”

“Oh.” He’s confused.

I let him in with my key, which he also finds odd. He looks around at the sparse living area. He doesn’t stay here often, so he never put much effort into decorating the place.

I walk into the kitchen and assess the refrigerator. As I suspected, it’s pretty empty. 

“I’m going to call Mark and have him pick us up some groceries,” I call out.

“Marky? Yeah, I’d love to see him,” Rob responds. “He’s the only on in the band that…” He stops himself. I know what he was going to say. He’s said it before in so many interviews that Mark was the only one in the band that he cared to see. But that was before, before we all reconciled, before we fell in love.

He looks at me apologetically. “It’s okay,” I tell him, wrapping my arms around him carefully. “We’re going to get through this.” I don’t know if I’m assuring him or myself. He stands awkwardly as I hug him, but eventually I feel his arms apprehensively reciprocate the embrace.

An hour later, Mark knocks at the door, and I let him in. I take the bags of groceries from him, and Robbie bear hugs him and immediately cries out in pain from his broken ribs. I smile in spite of myself. That’s my Rob; act first, apologize later.

Mark comes to hug me too. He makes a face. “You look like shit. Smell like it too.”

I roll my eyes. “Thanks. I haven’t really had a chance to do much other than run back and forth from the hospital.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower and clean yourself up? I can watch over him for a little while.”

“Thanks, Marky.”


	4. Chapter 4

Robbie’s POV

Gary announces that he’s going to take a shower and walks off. I sit down and watch Mark put away the groceries. He looks older too. How much has happened in 13 years?

“Can you believe I’m in a relationship with Gary Barlow?” I ask. “Because I really can’t.”

He looks at me and smiles one of those big Mark Owen smiles. “I watched you two fall in love. It was so beautiful to witness. All of those tentative touches, furtive glances, cheeky smiles. You’d sit by his side at the piano, and you’d both be so content.”

“I just can’t see myself doing that though.”

“You two were awkward around each other at first, but then you started writing together. That’s when everything changed.”

“But he’s Gary Barlow.”

He laughs. “I know. You two bring out different sides of the other. You’ll see.”

“See what?” a voice asks.

Gary walks back into the kitchen, and my mouth drops. He’s wrapped only in a towel, and still wet from his shower, his torso glistens. When did he get so fit? He’s also shaved, and I can see his defined jawline. I feel myself licking my lips. I shouldn’t want to kiss that jaw, right?

He catches me staring and grins. “Any of this bring back memories?”

I don’t know if it’s a memory or a fantasy, but an image flashes in my head of us naked in bed together with him hovering above me, both of us panting and moaning. “No,” I croak out, my throat suddenly dry.

His grin fades into a sheepish smile, and he looks down. “Let me get dressed, and then I’ll cook you both some dinner.”

“Sounds good, Captain.” They both gawk at me wide-eyed. “What?”

Gary comes closer and kisses my forehead. “I love you,” he says before disappearing down the corridor.

I turn to Mark for an answer. “You called him Captain. That’s your pet name for him. You started calling him that when you started dating.”

“I don’t know why I called him that.”

He smiles. “It’s somewhere deep down in your memory.”

“I dunno…” It still doesn’t seem right to me. “I can see what I saw in him though. Oof, when did he get so fit? I didn’t think I’d ever be with a man, but I can maybe picture it now.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Believe me, you’ve gone into great detail about it in your tendency to overshare.”

“That doesn’t sound like me,” I say innocently.

“You have a tattoo of some chords from a Beatles song on your back. You’ve told me before how Gaz loves to tap on it like he’s playing the music as he ploughs into you,” he tells me sardonically.

I raise my eyebrows. “Seriously?” He shakes his head as I turn and pull up the back of my shirt, trying to see the tattoo.

Gary comes back dressed in some tight jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. He pushes up his sleeves and bends over to peer into the refrigerator. “How does curry sound?”

I stare at the shape of his arse, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Mark. “Sounds delicious.”


	5. Chapter 5

Gary’s POV

After Mark leaves, I sit with Rob in the family room and show him pictures on my phone. He marvels at how far technology has gotten.

“I swear I was just using a Blackberry yesterday. Do I have one of those?”

“Yeah, it’s probably in this bag of things they took off of you when you were admitted.” I start digging through the plastic bag, and suddenly my stomach churns. “Here’s your phone,” I manage to gasp out, handing him his mobile.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “You look like you’re about to vomit.”

I motion at the bag. “Your clothes from the accident are in there. There’s just so much blood.” I cuddle closer to him. “I just can’t believe I could have lost you,” I whisper.

I feel him stiffen beside me. “Well, I’m still here. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” he tries to joke. He’s uncomfortable, so I back off a little.

“Sorry,” I apologize sheepishly. “Do you want me to show you how to use that?” I take the phone out of his hand and type in his passcode. “Your email is here, texts here, and Instagram here.”

“Insta- what?”

“Instagram. It’s a social media platform we use so fans can keep up with what we’re doing.”

I click on one of his videos that shows him recording his Christmas album.

“I seriously made a Christmas album?”

“Your 13th number one album,” I tell him proudly. “You can even video chat with fans on here. You said it helped with your agoraphobia and social anxieties.”

“Hmm…” He’s taking it all in. He swipes a couple of times and finds his photo library. The first picture that pops up is of me in bed the morning of the accident. I’m wearing nothing but a thin white sheet. “Hmm…” he says again.

“I know this is a lot to take in. Don’t worry. We’ll get there.” I pat his hand in what I hope is a comforting manner.

“Gaz, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“When we’re… intimate,” he says carefully, “who usually…”

“Who tops?” I finish for him.

“Yeah,” he says almost shyly. “I was talking Mark earlier, and he seemed to imply that…”

“That?”

“That I was your bitch,” he says brutely.

I have to laugh. “I highly doubt Mark said anything of the sort.”

“Answer the question, Barlow!”

I purse my lips and think about how to word this correctly. “We take turns, but you do prefer it when I take charge.”

He wipes his face with his hand. “How did this happen?”

“You like a strong captain in bed,” I say with a wink.

“I’ve slept with A LOT of people. You can’t be that good.”

He’s trying to wind me up, but I’ve dealt with his cheekiness for the past 10 years. “I can make you come without ever touching those two areas,” I purr into his ear, nipping at it lightly.

He gulps. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. “Prove it,” he challenges.

I attack his neck with vigor, sucking and kissing my way to his collarbone. He moans as I unbutton his shirt. I carefully take each nipple into my mouth and swirl my tongue. I make my way to his swallow tattoos and slowly pull at his joggers. He thrusts forward, but I push his hips back digging my nails down. He whimpers. When my teeth make contact with his inner thigh, I feel a hand in my hair trying to guide me to his hard member. I shake my head loose. I’ve got a point to prove, and I can be just as stubborn as my lover. My hands caress the inside of his knees as I nip and bite my way up and down his thighs. When I’m done, I reverse and head back up his torso, much to his frustration. By the time I’m back sucking at his earlobe, he’s bucking up, trying to find friction. I take his hands and hold them behind his back. 

He’s making obscene noises. “Gaz, please…”

“Come for me,” I command, nuzzling his ear, and he does just that, cursing as he spends in his briefs.

“Jesus Christ, Gaz!” he says as he’s panting. “Where did you learn to do that?”

“The European leg of the Progress Live Tour in 2011,” I tell him, sitting back against the couch, trying to calm myself down. I’m hard as a rock, but I don’t want him to feel obligated to finish me off. “The perfect way to come off the high of a show,” I say, grinning at him.

He smiles back at me and rests his head back against the cushions.

“Would you mind if I slept next to you tonight?” I venture.

He raises an eyebrow, but in his post-orgasmic bliss, he nods in agreement.


	6. Chapter 6

Robbie’s POV

I wake up with a dull ache in my ribs and head. “Uuugghhh…” I groan.

I feel a tablet being pressed against my lips. “Ibuprofen,” Gary says simply. I take the pill into my mouth, and he hands me a glass of water.

“Thanks,” I say after swallowing.

He takes the glass out of my hand and puts it on the bedside table before turning his attention back to me. “How did you sleep?”

“Alright, I guess.” I shift awkwardly as I remember my dream from last night. I’m fucking him in the mouth, and right before I come, he pulls off, spins me around, and bends me over a table.

He cuddles closer. “What are you thinking about?”

He can’t know what I’m thinking, right?

“Nothing.”

“You’re thinking of something. I know that look.”

I eye him carefully. “I just had a dream.”

“Did you remember something?” he asks hopefully.

“Not exactly. At least, I don’t think so,” I skirt the subject.

“Tell me about it,” he urges.

I grip the edge of the sheets, and his eyes follow the bedding down to the quite visible tent from my erection.

“Oh. It was that kind of dream,” he says hesitantly. “Who… who was it about?”

“Did we ever have sex backstage at X-Factor?”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “More times than I can count,” he says with a smirk. He lowers his voice. “Why don’t you tell me about your dream, and I’ll see if I can remember which time it was.”

God, this shouldn’t be turning me on. Gary Barlow has no right being seductive.

“Um, you were going down on me.”

He slides underneath the sheets and licks the head of my cock. “Like this?” he asks before taking me into his mouth and all the way down to the back of his throat. Fuck, he’s good.

“Yeah,” I gasp out. I pull the sheet back, and his head is bobbing up and down like a pro. “And then… just as I’m about to come… oh, that’s so good… you turn me around and… ah yes… and take me against the table.”

One of our phones rings. His head shoots up, but I push him back down.

“Ignore it.”

He continues to suck enthusiastically, hollowing out his cheeks as he lowers his mouth on my cock. Another ring echoes in the room, but we’re both too far gone to notice anything but the feel each other’s bodies.

I freeze when I feel a finger push into me. It goes in so easily, and that scares me. But then he somehow takes more of me down his throat, and I stop caring. When he presses against a certain spot inside me, all thoughts leave my brain.

He adds another finger, and soon I’m begging him for more. “Gaz, please…” I’m rocking back, needing more stimulation.

He pulls his mouth off like in my dream, but his fingers still move inside me. “How do you feel about something a little bigger than my fingers hitting that spot over and over again?” He presses against my prostate for emphasis. The bastard.

I can only moan my reply.

“Reach into that side table, and grab some lube for me.”

I turn my head and desperately dig through the drawer. Gold necklaces, notepad, lotion, ring box, lighter, handcuffs… handcuffs? I’ll have to address that later. Finally, I find a small bottle of lube and slap it into Gary’s hand. Before I know it, he’s got three slick fingers pumping into me and is prepping himself with his other hand.

I throw my head back. “Oh fuck!”

Just as I’m spreading my legs further for him, there’s a panicked knock at the door. Both of our heads whip up. Who the fuck is in my house?

“Rob? Gary?” Michael calls out. We both stay silent. When we hear the doorknob being turned, Gaz dives off of me and throws the covers over both of us.

Michael walks in and takes in the sight of us.

“Jesus Christ!” He’s shaking his head. He covers his eyes and turns away. “Has the doctor even cleared you for that kind of exertion yet?”

I giggle. “To be fair, Gaz was doing most of the work.” Gary shifts uncomfortably beside me. “You could have given us a warning before barging in here.”

Michael turns back to us while rolling his eyes. “I knocked at the front door and called both of you before I used my key. Then I heard you yell ‘oh fuck’ and got worried.”

“Sorry,” Gary says quietly. “We just got a little carried away.” He squeezes my hand under the sheets.

“So what can I do for you, Michael?”

“IT has replaced your laptop,” he says, handing me a computer. “And I need you to approve this press release, saying you are resting comfortably at home and taking time to recover from your injuries.”

“We’re skirting around the amnesia?” Gary asks.

“No need to tell anyone just yet until we know more. Besides, we don’t want anyone taking advantage of his memory loss and claiming he owes them something.”

I nod in agreement. “Why don’t you go do that press release, and Gaz and I can finish up what we were doing.”

“Babe, the moment’s gone,” he says sadly, giving me a peck on the lips. “We can pick up where we left off tonight. I’ll go make us some coffee.”

“But… but…”

He laughs. “You lads work on the press release. I’ve got some calls to make.”

He gives me another kiss and reaches for his robe.

“I love you.”

I freeze at those words. I didn’t respond to them last night either.

He looks down. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back.” He’s disappointed, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.

Michael gives him a sad but encouraging smile as Gary passes him on his way out of the room.

I look at my manager and shrug. I don’t know what I should be doing.


	7. Chapter 7

Gary’s POV 

My phone rings as I’m filling the kettle. It’s Mark.

“I’ve got a terrific idea, Gaz!” He sounds more optimistic than I do right now.

“Go on.”

“We can show him the ‘Look Back, Don’t Stare’ documentary! And then the Progress Tour DVD!”

It’s not a terrible idea. “Do you have copies of them? Everything’s at our house, and he’s not ready to go back there yet.” I can’t hide the disappointment in my voice.

“Why don’t you two come over tonight? I can make dinner. It’ll be one less thing for you to worry about.”

“Thanks, mate. I’ll ask him and let you know.”

I bring the coffee up to Rob and Michael.

Rob studies his mug carefully. “Black coffee?”

“Espresso,” I tell him.

“You gave up dairy,” Michael explains, “and most meats.”

Rob frowns. “Seriously? What else have I given up?”

Michael starts counting on his fingers. “Drugs, prescription and otherwise, smoking, drinking, strippers…”

“I sound so dull!”

“You didn’t give up whinging,” Michael adds.

I swoop in to change the subject. “Marky called. He offered to cook dinner tonight. There’s a couple of Take That DVDs he thinks might help you remember some things.”

Michael smiles enthusiastically. Rob just shrugs. “Okay.”

“They show how we got back together and wrote an album together and toured,” I explain further.

“Sure.” He’s not giving me much. His mind is still reeling from how different his life has become.

A thought pops into my head. “While we’re at it, we should look up the ‘Shame’ music video on YouTube. It’s your favorite.”

He doesn’t look convinced but starts typing on his laptop nonetheless. The music starts up, and I study his face as he reacts to the video. His eyes widen, his jaw drops, he laughs, and finally, he smiles at me.

“That was a good song.”

“The first one we officially wrote together.”

“I obviously did the lyrics. They’re brilliant.”

I chuckle. “Of course you did.”

“There were a lot of sexual undertones in that video,” he comments.

“I didn’t notice,” I say sarcastically. “I thought it was just about two mates getting reacquainted.”

“And then taking off our clothes.” He takes a sip of his espresso and looks surprised. “It’s not bad. So what’s for breakfast?”

“I’ll go make us a frittata.”

“A what?”

I kiss the top of his head. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

That’s all I need to hear.


	8. Chapter 8

Robbie’s POV 

“Thanks for having us over, Marky.” I hug him more carefully this time around, but my ribs still ache.

He notices the wince on my face. “Go sit down. I’ll bring dinner out to you.”

“Nah, I’ve been sitting all day. Gaz won’t let me lift a finger.” I look over to Gary who is playing with the kids. “This is the first time he’s let me out of his sight for longer than ten minutes.”

“You almost died.”

“I’m going to die from how much he’s suffocating me.”

He gives me a disapproving look. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“Tell me again how I fell in love with someone so… so Gary Barlow.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Michael was telling me today how different my life is, how much everything has changed. I’ve given up meat for fuck’s sake! Was I actually happy shagging Gary Bore-low and eating tofu?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Happier than you were being a recluse indulging in Adderall and cake.”

I sigh. “He’s actually really good in bed,” I admit begrudgingly. “I was quite keen.”

Mark ignores my comment. He shoves a plate of tofu curry into my hands. “You were happy shagging Gaz and eating tofu because you finally let yourself be happy.”

We sit down and eat in front of the television. Mark pops in the first DVD, and I can feel several pairs of eyes on me. I watch myself talking on the screen, but I can’t remember ever having said those words. I close my eyes in frustration and feel Gaz’s hand rubbing gentle circles into my back.

Then there’s a part where Jason and I are arguing about lyrics, and Gary steps in to defend me. I look nervous and anxious as hell on screen, and Gary stands up for me! I instinctively move closer to him on the couch, and he wraps an arm around my waist, still protective of me.

“Bloody good song,” I hear him mutter.

The second DVD is the Progress Live Tour. It looks fun. We’re all having a laugh on stage. But there’s only one thought on my mind. I keep flashing back to last night.

‘Where did you learn to do that?’

‘The European leg of the Progress Tour in 2011.’ 

What else did he learn to do during that tour? I’m curious. I turn to Gaz. “Let’s go home.”


	9. Chapter 9

Gary’s POV

“Let’s go home.” I know that tone in his voice. He’s horny. I have to admit I’d like to finish what we started this morning as well.

We say our goodbyes, and he’s kissing my neck on the way to the car. We’re giggling like schoolboys.

“Did either of those DVDs stir up any memories?”

“Just memories of last night and this morning.” He’s got a hand wandering up and down my thigh as I’m driving. I thrust against his wrist.

I look over, and there’s a visible tent in his tracksuit bottoms. I lick my lips. “You know,” I venture, “our place in Kensington is closer.”

He’s already palming at his erection. “Let’s go.”

My heart is racing as I navigate the streets of London back home. He stares at the house momentarily when we arrive, but my lips against his collarbone bring his attention back to the matter at hand. We fumble up the stairs, groping and kissing as we go. 

By the time we get to the bedroom, I’ve already pulled his bottoms and briefs down past his arse and am teasing his hole with a finger, lightly rubbing against the ring of muscle. I lay him down on the edge of the bed and pull his bottoms off completely. I bend down to kiss the tip of his penis, and he whimpers.

“Gaz, please…”

“Please, what?”

“Stop playing around, and fuck me!”

I can’t help but smirk. Normally, I’d make him squirm and suffer until he was aching for it, but this is different. I’m reclaiming him; I need him to feel how right we are together.

I reach for the lube and prepare us both. His eyes are clenched shut as he concentrates on his pleasure, but the moment I thrust in, they snap open with shock and fear. I curl a hand on his cheek and reassure him. 

“Just relax. It’ll hurt more if you’re tense.”

“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one with a cock up your arse!”

I laugh and lean down to kiss him, pushing myself in further along the way. He moans against my mouth.

“Did you like that?”

“Don’t be a smug bastard,” he warns. I pull out and push back in. “Fuck!”

I start to pick up the pace, matching my rhythm to each expletive he yelps. I grab his hands and pin them above his head so that he can’t touch himself. I can feel his body trembling. He’s getting close, so I pull completely out.

“No!” he protests. He tries to wiggle his arse back.

“Roll over and move further up the bed,” I tell him. He does as he’s told, and I slide a couple of pillows underneath his belly to prop him up. I crawl onto the bed and grab a hold of his hips. “This is your favorite position. Mine too,” I say with a light slap on his right butt cheek.

I hear a sharp intake of breath. “Gaz…”

I enter him once more, going harder and faster this time. He’s grinding himself against the pillows. I can feel his body spasming, and he comes with a loud cry. I follow suit moments later. I lay against him until he starts shifting uncomfortably from his injured ribs. I turn him over and off the pillows gently and lay down beside him.

“How was that?”

“Did you learn that on tour as well?” he pants.

“No, you wouldn’t have been able to dance,” I joke. “We did that while I was recording part of my solo album in LA,” I say, nibbling at his ear.

“Mmmmm…” He’s already half-asleep.

“I love you, Rob,” I say with a kiss on his cheek.

“Love you too,” he mutters sleepily before starting to snore lightly. My heart swells.


	10. Chapter 10

Robbie’s POV 

I wake up to Gary propped up on one elbow staring at me. The goofy grin on his face along with the dull ache in my arse remind me of what we did last night. Oh god. He said “I love you,” and I’m fairly certain I said it back. Shit.

I’ve also got morning wood. It doesn’t go unnoticed. Gary reaches a hand down and lazily wanks me off. I don’t stop him.

“What do you want for breakfast this morning?” he asks casually as if his hand isn’t encircling my penis.

“Um…” It’s hard to think like this. “T-toast?” It’s the first food that comes to mind.

He nods. “Yeah, I think we have some sourdough in the cupboard.” He lets go of my cock.

“Wait…” He can’t leave me like this!

He giggles. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” He dips his head down and takes me to the back of his throat in one fell swoop. God, do we wake up like this every morning?

I’m lightly thrusting into his mouth when the doorbell rings. If that’s Michael again, I’m going to fire him. I place a hand at the back of Gaz’s head. “Ignore it.”

He does so for a moment before his head snaps up, eyes wide. “It’s your mum!” He’s up and out of the bed before I can process what he said. “I completely forgot she was coming into town today!” He’s throwing clothes at me and dressing himself. “I’ll try to keep her downstairs. We can’t let her see the bed!”

I look around at the cum-stained sheets. “She knows we’re a couple, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t want her to know what I do to her son on a regular basis.” So we do normally wake up like this! He gives me a kiss and runs out of the room.

I slowly get dressed and follow him. On my way down the stairs, I stop to look at the pictures on the wall. It’s a different life on display. We’re on holiday in a desert, biking down a mountainside, hiking in the woods, sitting side-by-side in front of a piano. In each picture, we’re happy, grinning at each other like idiots. Idiots in love. That can’t be me. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy. 

“You were happy the past two days you’ve woken up,” something in the back of my mind tells me. I shake away the thought and continue down the stairs. At the base, I can hear two familiar voices talking.

“You know him. He’s stubborn, and he’s a professional performer. I can tell he’s frustrated he can’t remember, but he puts on a show.”

“Give him time, love. Be patient.” There’s a pause. “But what if he doesn’t remember?” There’s fear in Mum’s voice.

But Gary’s voice is confident. “Then I’ll have to make him fall in love with me all over again.”


	11. Chapter 11

Gary’s POV 

Rob eyes me strangely as he walks into the kitchen. He hugs his mum and sits with her at the table. I bring over two cups of coffee and Rob’s espresso.

“Jan’s going to stay for the next week, and then your dad’s going to join us.” 

He scoots closer to his mum and wraps an arm around her. “I’m glad you’re here, Mum.”

“I’ll just go and make up your room,” I announce.

“You might want to change our sheets as well,” Rob says with a cheeky wink.

I shake my head at him and mouth, “Fuck off.”

This goes unnoticed by Jan who is fussing over her son. “You look thin. Did they feed you in that hospital? I’m going to cook you two a proper supper.”

I change the sheets in both bedrooms and bring Jan’s bags up the stairs. I get her settled in and go downstairs to find my boyfriend. He’s on the phone with his back turned to me. His voice is strained.

“I just need to talk to someone who isn’t part of the Gary Barlow fan club. I can’t wrap my head around it all, and I know you can always see things from a different point of view. I don’t even know if this is even still your number, but call me back if you get this.”

“Who was that?” I ask. He turns to me, surprise and shock on his face.

“No one.”

“You were talking to no one on your phone?”

“Voicemail.”

“Whose voicemail?” I press.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Rob, if you need to talk to someone, talk to me. I’m your boyfriend, your partner.”

“That’s the problem! I don’t understand it! How do we go from hating each other to living together?”

He’s shaking, so I walk up and wrap my arms around him only to be shrugged off.

“You look at me with those lovey-dovey eyes, and I’m not the man you want me to be. Last I remember, I was doing Adderall and cocaine by myself in LA, not living in London with a man who resented me.” He starts to tear up. “I’m not boyfriend material. I don’t know how to be.”

I try to hug him close once more. This time he doesn’t push me away. “You’re not that different from who you used to be. You still drive me up the wall. You don’t know when our anniversary is. Or where the laundry room is in this house. We’re still ridiculously competitive with each other. And you can still irritate me by being the best entertainer in the world without even half a day of rehearsal. Not much has changed except the fact that I now find those quirks endearing.”

His breathing starts to increase in pace. He’s having a panic attack. He hasn’t had one in ages. I sit him down on the couch and go to find a paper bag. I hand him the bag wordlessly and just sit with him as he breathes, a comforting hand on his knee. He keeps looking back at me like he can’t quite believe what’s happening.

When his breathing returns to normal, I take the bag out of his hands and pull him close, laying us both down against the cushions. He clenches his eyes shut and lays his head against my chest.

“I’m scared,” he whispers. “I don’t know how to be this new, improved Robbie.”

“Shhh…” I murmur into his hair. “You don’t have to be anything right now. Just be here with me.” Jan walks by the doorway, and I wave her off. We fall asleep like this, and when the doorbell wakes me up, he’s still tucked in my arms. I see Jan walk by again to answer the door.

“Oh, hello! I wasn’t expecting to see you. Come in, love.”

“Rob didn’t sound too good on the phone, so I came as quickly as I could.”

I know that voice. Why would Rob have called him? A head pops into the doorway.

“Hey, Gaz.”

“Hi, Jason.”


	12. Chapter 12

Robbie’s POV 

I wake up to the sound of two of my former bandmates chatting. Gaz is gently stroking the hair behind my ear. I sigh contently.

“Is Sleeping Beauty finally awake?” I hear Jason say.

“I was just resting my eyes,” I mutter.

“You were snoring,” Gary teases.

I sit up slowly and groan from the pain in my ribs. Gary pops up immediately. “I‘ll go grab your pills.”

“Thanks.”

“You two look cozy,” Jason comments when Gary is out of earshot. “This wasn’t what I was expecting when I heard your voicemail.”

“I don’t understand it. In my mind, this is the man who represents everything I hated about being in Take That. But then he touches me, and it’s like all those bad feelings go away.”

Jay nods. “The feelings are very one-sided right now, but your physical senses are muscle memory.”

“I don’t know how to love him back.”

“It’ll come with time.”

“So everyone keeps saying.”

He crosses his arms and leans back. “You know what I think the problem is?”

“Amnesia?”

He rolls his eyes. “You don’t remember ‘the chat.’”

“The what?”

“We all sat down in a room, and you two talked everything out, everything that bothered you for 15 years.”

“Really?”

“It was cathartic for all of us.”

Gary returns with a tablet and a glass of water. I down both and take a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

He drops down next to me, lips quivering. “Rob, I know I’ve been a bit overprotective, but...”

“No, no, no! Not like that! That probably wasn’t the best choice of words.” I pull him up onto the couch beside me. “Jay was telling me we had some kind of chat that helped clear the air between us. I don’t remember it, and he thinks it will help.”

Relief washes over him. “Yeah. That’s a great idea. Do you want to start?”

“Um, okay.” I take a deep breath. “You never supported my songwriting.”

He takes my hand into his own. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re a brilliant songwriter.”

“You were the poster child for Nigel, which made us feel like we were lesser people, expendable.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how toxic he was until later.”

“You thought you were above us. You never wanted to be in a boyband. We were back-up dancers to you.”

“I’m sorry I behaved like a twat.”

Looking into his eyes, he means every apology. “Wow. Um…” I scratch my head. “Do you want to have a go?”

“I got my resolution years ago.” He’s rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

“I think it might help to hear your side, Gaz,” Jason chimes in.

“Well, okay. I know the press played it up, but the things you said about me were hurtful.”

“Sorry, that was a bit, me trying to be funny. I guess I took it too far as usual.”

“That thing about calling my album rubbish and wanting your money back.”

“I said that to the store clerk; he wasn’t supposed to repeat that!” I rub the back of my neck. “But yeah, sorry.”

“The bigger you got, the more unemployable I became.”

“That’s not my fault!” I say, indignant. Jason gives me a look. “But sorry.”

He shrugs. “I can’t really remember much else.”

I look over to Jay. As he gives me a tentative smile, a memory surfaces, and something drops in the pit of my stomach. 

My throat goes dry. “Well, while we’re being honest, I’ve got one.” I bite my lip, unsure of whether or not to say it aloud. “I kissed Jay last year.”

Gary drops my hand. “You what?”


	13. Chapter 13

Gary’s POV

My head is spinning. My chest is pounding. I can’t breath. Rob and Jason kissed. How could they do that to me?

“He means the last year that he can remember,” Jason clarifies quickly. “2006.”

“Oh.” They kissed three years before Rob and I got together. That’s better, but… “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It just happened the once. It didn’t mean anything,” Rob says.

“That’s not exactly true,” Jason objects.

“It didn’t mean anything!” Rob reinforces.

“No, not that part. We kissed again in 2008. That night you showed us that ridiculous Take That tattoo.” Rob looks down at his wrist and traces the tattoo with a finger.

I slouch back on the couch. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask again.

“Like Rob said, it didn’t mean anything.”

“You kissed twice, and it didn’t mean anything?” I’m raising my voice, but I don’t care at the moment.

“We were feeling vulnerable, and we found comfort in one another.”

I turn to Rob. “Is that why you called him today? Were you feeling vulnerable? Do you need him to comfort you?”

“Gaz, it’s not what you think… I think. I can’t remember. I called Jay because—”

“Because you needed someone ‘who isn’t part of the Gary Barlow fan club.’ Isn’t that what you said?” I whip my head to glare at Jason. “You got here pretty quickly. Hoping for another snog?”

“Gaz, you’ve got it all wrong,” Jay says, exasperated.

I cross my arms. “Then explain it to me.”

“We found comfort in each other because we both never felt like we belonged in the group. Once you two started seeing each other, Rob stopped feeling that way. He finally felt wanted.”

I turn back to my wide-eyed boyfriend. He immediately looks down and starts picking at the hem of his vest. I have so many questions that he’s in no place to answer. 

“The kiss didn’t mean anything to you?” He shakes his head. “Do you fancy Jason?” Another negative response. “Do you have a problem with the two of us right now?” He nods, and it breaks my heart.

“You’ve been so good to me,” he whispers, “but I just can’t remember loving you. I don’t know if I know how.”

Jan takes that moment to announce that lunch is ready. Rob quickly follows her to the kitchen. He throws a concerned glance back before leaving me alone with Jason.

“You kissed my boyfriend twice and never told me,” I say through pursed lips.

“Gaz, I think we both know that isn’t the issue right now,” he says calmly.

“Of course that’s the issue!” I’m livid.

“Gaz…” he presses. “You’re afraid he’s not going to love you again.”

I slump down into my seat, defeated. “I’m terrified. He’s been fighting the idea of us every step of the way. Sex is the only thing that’s bringing us closer. So why would he want me if you’re the other option?”

“You two didn’t fall in love because of sex. You connected through music, and you supported each other through trying times. You built this relationship from the ground up.”

I close my eyes, willing away the tears. “But now that foundation is gone.”

“It’s still there,” Jason assures me. “He feels it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t still be here. He’d have caught the first flight out to LA. You brought him out of his depression and got him over his stage fright; this can’t be any worse. You just have to be the strong one for a while.”

I give him a small smile. “I know. Thanks, Jay. I’m sorry I overreacted about the kisses.”

“They were never anything close to what you two share.”

I stand up and offer him a hand. “Let’s go eat, shall we?”

He takes my hand, and I lift him out the chair. “Another thing, you might want to cool it down with the sex. Let him see there’s more to you two than going at it like rabbits.”

I run a hand down my face. “Oh, that’ll go over well.”


	14. Chapter 14

Robbie’s POV 

I can’t get his face out of my head. It was contorted in a mixture of horror and heartbreak. I feel like a twat for making him feel that way, but I had to be honest. 

Mum and I sit down in the kitchen, and I pick at the beef stew.

“Everything alright, love?”

“What were we like, me and Gaz, as a couple?”

She smiles at me. “I’ve never seen you happier.”

“Really?”

“He got you out of that house. You weren’t scared to go outside anymore. You weren’t afraid to go onstage anymore. He made you smile and be comfortable in your own skin.”

I look toward the doorway. “I wish he could do that right now.”

“Have you given him the chance?”

I pout and turn back to my stew. “I guess not.”

“He loves you. Let him.”

I hang my head. “Yes, Mum.”

She takes my hands into hers. “All you’ve ever needed was someone to love you and take care of you. He’s done that for years. He’s done that in the few hours I’ve been here.”

I think back to my panic attack earlier and how Gaz held me close until I could breathe normally again. It was clearly not my first panic attack with him. He handled it like it was second nature to him. I can’t be easy to live with, much less love.

Gary and Jason finally join us, and they each take a seat on either side of me. I guess they’ve made up with each other. Gary reaches out and takes a hold of my hand, squeezing it gently. I smile shyly at him, and he smiles back so brightly that it feels like the sun is shining indoors.

Mum and Jason chat quietly while Gaz and I steal glances at one another. So this is what it feels like to be in love.


	15. Chapter 15

Gary’s POV 

Jason leaves after lunch, and Jan goes upstairs to nap, leaving Rob and me to clean the dishes together. I start humming a tune as I rinse the soap off a pot. I hand the pot over to Rob to dry, and he joins in, singing a melody on top of my humming.

This gets me thinking. I wipe my hands dry and drag him to the piano in the other room. 

“Just sing whatever comes to mind,” I tell him.

He bobs his head to the music for a bit and then starts to sing. “I am not my mistakes, and god knows I’ve made a few. I started to question the angels, and the answer they gave was you… what?”

I’m gawking, and I’ve completely frozen still. But this fills me with so much hope. Finally, I shake myself out of my reverie and tap on my phone a few times to bring up his album, fast forwarding to the verse he just sang. He looks at me in wonder as I play him a song he recorded years ago but can’t remember.

“It’s somewhere in your subconscious,” I tell him happily. “That means we’re in there somewhere too.”

He plops down next to me on the bench and lays his head on my shoulder. “You think?”

I turn my head so we’re nose to nose. “I’m never giving up hope.” I give him a peck on the lips and start to play again, suddenly inspired.


	16. Chapter 16

Robbie’s POV 

I watch his fingers glide over the piano keys. It’s mesmerising. He’s humming a melody, occasionally singing lines about love and hope. It must be nice to be able to write such happy lyrics. I always have to walk the line between ego and self-depreciation.

I sneak my arms around him and feel the music rumbling from his diaphragm. It’s eerily comfortable like this; I don’t want to move. Well, almost.

“Let’s go to our room,” I purr into Gaz’s ear.

A sharp intake of breath tells me he wants to, but he shakes his head. “Your mum is napping upstairs,” he whispers, even though no one else is around.

“How about the studio?” I suggest, not giving up just yet.

“What if she comes looking for us?”

“She’ll see how happy you make her son. Isn’t that what every mother wants for her children?”

“I’m pretty sure Jan wouldn’t want to see her son THAT happy.”

“Gaz…”

He sighs. “We shouldn’t.”

“Yes, we should.”

“Jay was just saying we shouldn’t be indulging ourselves. I don’t want you to confuse your emotions with sexual desires.” His breathing is shallow. There’s the faintest sign of an erection starting to tent in his trousers.

I nip at his earlobe. “Tell me, when you fucked me last night, was that out of love or desire?”

“B-both,” he stutters. My mouth drops to his neck. “We really shouldn’t. We’ve been at it like rabbits ever since you were released from hospital.” He gasps when I sink my teeth into his collarbone and then lick at the marks left behind.

“We can be quick. No one has to know.”

He looks at me, eyes glazed with want. “Okay. Let’s—”

“Rob? Gary?” Mum calls out as she descends the stairs. I put a finger to my lips, silently telling Gary to remain quiet, but she finds us anyways. “There you two are! Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

“Sorry, Mum,” I say, giving her a big smile. “Gaz just had me so distracted playing the piano. He’s got quite talented fingers.” Gary shifts uncomfortably beside me.

“You two are so adorable, always bragging on each other.” She places a hand on Gaz’s shoulder, making him jump. He quickly grabs a notebook and sets it on top of his lap to hide his hard-on. “Why don’t we take a walk in the garden? It’s so gorgeous outside.”

“Um, you two go ahead,” Gaz utters. “I just want to write a few things down. I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure? We can wait right here for you,” I offer cheekily. He shoots daggers at me with his eyes. I plant an emphatic kiss on his cheek. “Don’t be too long.”

He pulls me back as Mum and I start to walk off. “You’re going to get it later,” he mutters in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

“Is that a promise?” I giggle. He slaps my bum as I saunter away. “I lo… I’ll see you in a little bit.” Oh shit. What did I almost say?


	17. Chapter 17

Gary’s POV 

Rob and I cuddle on the couch after dinner. He flips through the channels on the television until he finds X-Factor and then settles himself in my arms. I pull a blanket over both of us, and he sneaks a hand on my arse. The man is incorrigible.

I look over to his mum sitting in a chair on the other side of the room. She’s sipping a cup of tea. “Thank you for a lovely dinner, Jan.” I emphasise her name in hopes Rob will behave himself in front of his mum.

“And thank you for taking care of my son. I hope he hasn’t been too difficult.” She winks at me.

“No more than usual.”

“Hey!” He pinches my arse. “I’ve got a legitimate medical condition,” he pouts.

“What was your excuse before?” I tease.

“I literally can’t remember,” he shrugs. I roll my eyes.

We watch the show in silence. Rob has moved his hand and is now stroking the hair on the back of my neck absently. He doesn’t remember, but it soothes me. After the Progress Tour, the Queen’s jubilee, and X-Factor, I was so burnt out that my body gave out on me one day in LA. Rob sat with me as I slept for three days straight, petting the back of my head lovingly while he played on his laptop. I want him to remember these moments so badly. I want him to remember how much we need each other.

He turns and smiles at me during the commercial break. “What?” he asks, seeing the look on my face.

“This is nice,” I say, sighing contently.

“Yeah it is.” He grins and sits back. “Wouldn’t it be funny if I sang ‘Never Forget?’”

“Hilarious,” I say dryly.

We continue watching telly until Rob starts to yawn. We say our goodnights to Jan and head up the stairs to the bedroom. I bat away his hand as he tries to grope my arse. 

“I meant what I said earlier. No more giving into our primal urges,” I hiss so that his mum won’t hear.

“But, Gaz, what if it helps me remember?”

“Your mum is right down the corridor!”

“I can be quiet,” he tries to assure me.

I chuckle. “You really can’t.”

“But, Gaz…” He can’t think of another excuse, so he pouts instead. “Fine. We don’t have to do anything tonight.” 

I give him a kiss and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I walk back into the bedroom, I stop in my tracks. Lying on the bed with his knees bent and legs spread wide apart, Robbie is pleasuring himself with a vibrating sex toy.

My mouth goes dry. “Rob… don’t do this to me.”

He grins at me. “Since you refused to help me out, I had to resort to other means of pleasure. I found this on your side of the bed.” He throws his head back and lets out a low groan.

I move to the bed and hold his wrist still. “Didn’t I ask you to behave yourself?” I ask sternly. It only makes his eyes darken with lust. Bastard. I pull the toy out of him, much to his protests.

“Gaz…” he whinges. His other hand moves down to his erection, but I catch it before it reaches its destination, pinning both of his wrists above his head. He thrusts upward, hoping to make contact with my body. “I can be quiet, I promise.”

“That’s not the point.”

“It’s not fair. You have all these memories of us. I’m just now discovering how good we are together, and you’re denying me.” His logic almost makes sense.

“You have no idea how much I want you, right now,” I tell him. “I just don’t want to take advantage of you or the situation.”

“You know I never do anything I don’t want to do.” He pushes out of my grip on his wrists easily, letting me know that I only had him in that position because he allowed it. “I want you,” he growls.

“Rob, let’s make a deal.” I curl up beside him. “I will send your mum out to run an errand tomorrow morning, and then we can do whatever you want in bed. But for tonight, can I just hold you and revel in the fact that I didn’t lose you?”

He bites his lip as he considers the offer. “Anything I want?”

“Anything.”

“Deal.” He wraps an arm around me, and I snuggle close, breathing in his scent.


	18. Chapter 18

Robbie’s POV 

I awake to the smell of espresso and a kiss on my lips.

“Do we usually wake up like this?” I murmur happily against Gaz’s mouth.

“Not enough,” he replies, pulling away and handing me the mug along with my pills. “Your mum left about five minutes ago. We have about an hour before she’s back.” 

He hurriedly strips us both of our clothes and straddles my hips. I pull him down for another kiss. He braces himself with his arms on either side of my head so that his body is close but not crushing me. “I believe we agreed on anything I wanted last night.”

“And what do you want?” He dips his head into the crook of my neck, kissing and nibbling at the skin. Suddenly, my mind goes blank, knowing only the lips against my skin. “Rob?”

Oh right. He asked a question. “You,” I say simply.

“You have me,” he giggles. “What do you want to do with me?”

I thrust against his stomach. “I want to be inside you.”

He grins. “I think we can arrange that.” Gaz reaches into the drawer of the nightstand and grabs a bottle. Soon he’s got three fingers inside himself, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he moans. Fuck, that’s hot.

“Gaz,” I say, bringing his focus back to the matter at hand. I’m wanking myself slowly, watching him.

“Don’t worry. I don’t renege on deals.” He positions himself above me and lowers himself. I’m already gripping the sheets. I’ve never felt anything like it before.

“You’re so tight!” I gasp. “Oh fuck!” He starts moving up and down. My hand moves to encircle his cock, jerking him off. If I don’t get him to the point I’m at quickly, it’s going to be embarrassing. I’m already so close.

Gaz must sense that too because he slows down his pace. The bastard is too good at this. He runs a hand down my torso. “We really do need to wake up like this more often.”

He keeps going at a reserved, leisurely pace, and before long, I’m clawing at his hips, trying to urge him to move faster. The pressure is mounting, but I need more. 

“Gaz…”

“Sshhh… I know how you like it,” he assures me. He lifts himself until only the tip of my cock remains inside him, and then he slams himself back down. I let out a scream of pleasure. He does that two more times, and then I’m coming inside him.

“Jesus, Gaz!”

“How was that?” He’s smirking. He knows damn well how good that was.

“We always thought you were such a prude back then.”

He laughs and leans down to kiss me. His erection presses against me. I look down at it hesitantly. “Do you want me to… um…”

He grinds against my belly. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I don’t think I have any room to argue about what I’m comfortable doing after how you just rode me.” I run a finger along his length. He groans in appreciation. “What do you like?” I venture.

He blushes. How the fuck can he be blushing after what we just did? “I like it when you go down on me,” he whispers. “But you don’t have to,” he adds quickly.

I push the both of us up and shift until he’s sitting at the edge of the bed. I slide down onto the floor between his legs and look up at him. He looks gorgeous like that — eyes closed, lips parted, and hair disheveled. Giving him a blow job is a little more daunting now that his cock is right in front of me. I’ve had this done to me a million times before, and theoretically, I’ve done it to him before too, even if I can’t remember it.

I needn’t have worried though because Gary Barlow knows how to take charge. He cups the side of my face and bends down to kiss me. Then he gently pushes the tip of his cock against my lips. I part them obligingly. He carefully fucks my mouth, making sure not to thrust too hard against the back of my throat. His blue eyes are watching me the entire time.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters between shallow breaths. “I love you so much.”

My lips curl upward into a smile around his cock. It suddenly hits me. I want to make this man happy. I want to be the Robbie he fell in love with. I don’t remember loving him, but I want to.

“Rob, I’m close…”

I nod, letting him know to continue. With my sudden epiphany, I begin to go down on him with newfound enthusiasm, sucking and licking as best I can with every thrust. I know I’m a mess of saliva and bruised lips, but Gaz isn’t complaining. His fingers dig into my scalp when he comes. I swallow what I can, and he lovingly wipes the side of my mouth with his thumb.

He stands and pulls me up into his arms. “We should get cleaned up.”


	19. Chapter 19

Gary’s POV 

I can’t stop grinning as I run a soapy sponge across Rob’s body. I look up, and there’s trust in his eyes. His hands on my hips assure me that he’s not going anywhere. The lips against my temple tell me he feels this too.

We step out of the shower, and I wrap a big fluffy towel around him. He tugs playfully at the one around my waist.

“Your mum should be back at any moment now,” I warn him.

“What did you send her out for anyways?” he asks.

“You’ll see,” I say cryptically. 

We step back into the bedroom, and I hear several footsteps coming up the stairs.

“They’re here!” I tell him happily.

“Who?”

“The babies.”

“What?” 

I open the bedroom door, and two balls of fluff come barreling in, heading straight for Rob.

His eyes light up, and he throws his arms out. “Hugo! Cookie! Come to Daddy!” His head whips up at me. “I know their names!”

He sits on the floor and plays with them while I speak to Jan.

“Thanks for picking them up. I can’t believe he remembers them.”

She smiles at me. “You two seem to be getting along.”

“Thank you for whatever you said to him.”

She shrugs. “I just told him to stop being stubborn and let you love him.”

“I do love him,” I tell her.

“I know.”

“Gaz! Help!” I look over, and the dogs have somehow pinned Rob to the floor while licking his face.

I walk over and scoop up Hugo. Cookie follows.

“Why don’t I make us some brekkie?” Jan offers. “You protect my son from those vicious beasts,” she teases. “Oh, and maybe find him some pants.” The towel around Rob’s waist is no longer hiding much after rolling around on the floor with the dogs.

She steps out, and I place Hugo back down. “We should probably get dressed before you flash your mum again.”

“It’s nothing she hasn’t seen before.” He stands up and walks over to the dresser.

“There’s a difference between changing your nappies as a child and seeing you in nothing but a flimsy towel with your boyfriend as an adult.” As I’m talking, he’s going through each drawer, looking at the clothes. I realise too late that he’s digging through my sock drawer. “Rob, that’s my drawer!”

He pulls out a box, a ring box. I trip over Cookie trying to get to him, but he’s already opened the box. 

“That’s… that’s not… what you think it is,” I stumble over my words.

He reads the engraving. “Forever Love, Gary.”

I’m mortified. “It’s corny, isn’t it?”

“You were going to propose.” It’s more of a statement than a question. “When?”

I shrug. “It would have been two days ago if the accident hadn’t happened.” I flop down on the bed. “I had it all planned out. I was going to make dinner. Dessert out in the garden. I was going to tie the ring to Hugo’s collar and hope he wouldn’t swallow it.”

He sniggers. “That sounds romantic.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter now.”

He sits next to me on the bed and places the ring in my hand. “Don’t give up on me. I want to be the man you fell in love with. I want to remember this life we had. I want to be able to say ‘yes’ and mean it.”

I smile at him. “I want that too.”


	20. Chapter 20

Robbie’s POV 

Gaz is tinkering on his piano while Mum and I flip through photo albums.

“That’s awfully melancholic,” Mum comments. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” I reply defensively. “Gaz, play something happier!” I shout to the other room. “Mum thinks you’re sad!”

Immediately, the music becomes upbeat and bouncy.

“Are you sure you didn’t say anything to upset him?” she asks.

I sigh. She’s not going to let this go. “I found a ring. He was going to propose.”

She covers her mouth to muffle a squeal of delight. “Oh, Gary would make a wonderful son-in-law!”

“He didn’t actually propose, Mum,” I tell her to bring her back to reality. “He wants to marry his Robbie, not me.”

She places her hand on top of mine. “You are his Robbie. You just can’t remember it. It’s going to take time.”

I slouch down on the couch. “What did he see in me anyways? I was always mean to him. Can’t be fun having to be the adult in the relationship all the time.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“What’s this picture?” I point to the album to change the subject. It was a picture of Gary, his mum, and me.

“You flew his mum out to LA. You two spent the whole week writing together while she looked after the both of you.” 

“And this?” I point at another picture.

“She tried to teach you how to make Gary’s favorite steak and stout pie. That’s her finished product. I have no idea what burnt mess you’re holding.”

That gives me an idea.

Two hours later, Gaz finds us in the kitchen.

“What’s that lovely aroma?” He wraps an arm around my mum. “Is that steak and stout pie?” he asks excitedly.

“Your mum’s recipe,” I say with a wink.

“You’re the best, Jan!” He gives her a peck on the cheek.

“Rob did most of the work,” she tells him. “I just intervened when needed.”

“Which was a lot,” I add. “Did you know that doubling the heat doesn’t cook it twice as fast?”

He laughs, not quite sure if I’m joking or not. He comes over and rubs my cheek with his thumb. “Is there anywhere you didn’t get flour on you?”

“You can check later,” I tell him, wagging my eyebrows.

He shakes his head and turns his attention back to the pie. “It looks a lot better than your first attempt.”

“That’s not saying much!” I eye the pie nervously. “You can’t die from food poisoning, right?”

“I’m sure it’s fine, love,” Mum says. “I watched you every step of the way.” It doesn’t give me much encouragement.

“What’s life without taking a few risks?” Gaz asks, stabbing a fork into the crust. “Besides, if we have to go to hospital, at least I know all the nurses there from visiting you so much.” He takes a bite and grins. “It’s delicious.”

“Just like your mum’s?”

“Let’s not get carried away,” he deadpans.

I giggle. “It’s edible. That’s more than I was hoping for!”

He kisses me softly. “Thank you.”

“I love you.” He’s as shocked as I am with the words that have just come out of my mouth. “Shit, Gaz, I’m sorry!”

He silences me with another kiss. He’s got a goofy smile on his face. “Never be sorry for saying that.” 

“It’s just that I know I’m not him.”

That confuses him. “Not who?”

“Your Rob.”

He looks over to Mum for answers. She just shrugs. “Am I missing something here? Last I checked, you’re still Robert Peter Williams.”

I grab the photo album and point to a picture of us laughing on a beach. “I’m not him. Being on a beach with all those people terrifies me.”

He takes my hand and rubs it gently. “That Rob was still terrified. He only went because he knew I wanted to go. I spent the entire hour trying to make him… you laugh to keep your mind at ease. And you only made me love you more for making an effort.” He points at the mess in the kitchen. “Just like you did here. You are my Rob whether you like it or not.”

I bite my bottom lip. “I like it,” I admit.

He gives me a satisfied smirk. “Good.”


	21. Chapter 21

Gary’s POV 

We spend the next few weeks rediscovering each other. Rob of 2007 is timid, unsure of himself. He allows me to take the lead, and I do so happily. Once both of his parents have come and gone, I took a liking to giving him morning fellatio. There’s something satisfying about reducing the Robbie Williams, popstar extraordinaire, into a squirming, moaning, begging mess with just my mouth and the occasional finger.

He finally grows comfortable with me, and I can see the trust and possibly a hint of love in his eyes. It’s more than I can ask for given the circumstances, really. His memory hasn’t improved much, but there are moments, when he’s playing with the dogs or leaning into me when we’re watching footie, that I catch glimpses of my Rob. He’ll hold Hugo up to my face like Simba in The Lion King until I laugh and push them away. He’ll turn to me to watch my reaction to a play and smile gleefully when he sees that my attention is actually on him. These are the moments when I know that even if he doesn’t get his memory back, we’ll be okay.

“What are you thinking?” He nudges me out of my thoughts with his toe. He’s laying on the couch watching telly while I’m sitting up daydreaming with a magazine in my hands.

“That I love you,” I reply with a heartfelt sentiment.

He bites his bottom lip. He’s nervous. Those words always make him uneasy. Finally, he finds the courage to speak. “I, um, love you too.”

I toss the magazine aside and stretch out on top of his body. “You love me?”

“Oh, don’t give me that goofy grin,” he says in mock annoyance. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.”

“I’m glad you said it now.” I place little kisses along his chest. “Say it again,” I command.

“I love you.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his lips. “I love you.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon kissing lazily on the couch, hands roaming freely. He ends up on top of me with my legs hanging off his hips. When he comes inside me, he says it one more time. “I love you.”


	22. Chapter 22

Robbie’s POV 

Who knew that being in a relationship with Gary Barlow would be so amazing? And the sex so hot?

As he’s napping on the couch after our last round of intercourse, I sneak up the stairs. I open his sock drawer and pull out the box he was mortified to have me find before. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the ring. He wanted to be my husband. The idea doesn’t scare me as much as it did before.

“Rob? Are you in here?” I hear him before he rounds the corner to the bedroom and quickly stuff the ring in my shorts. “What’re you doing in here?”

“You took up the entire couch,” I tease.

He rolls his eyes and comes to kiss the top of my head.

I close my eyes and lean into his body. “Marry me.” The words slip out of my mouth before my brain has time to filter them.

“What?”

“Marry me,” I repeat. Well, I can’t take it back now. I pull out the ring and go all in, dropping off the bed and onto one knee.

“You’re joking,” he says in disbelief.

I frown and pull myself back up. “I guess I have my answer.”

He pulls me close. “No, no! I mean yes. Of course I want to marry you! I bought the bloody ring!”

“That was for a different Rob,” I say sadly.

“And I fell in love with this Rob all the same.” He takes the ring and slips it on my finger.

“We’ll have to get you a ring.”

He grins. “I have one.” He continues to speak as he rummages through his nightstand. “You probably don’t remember, but you bought me a ring before you left the band the first time, something to remember you by, I guess.” He pauses. “It’s not in here. I swear I left it in here.” He digs more frantically.

“It’ll turn up.” I tug him back to me. “Come make love to your fiancé.”

He’s pouting but obliges.

We fall asleep, and I wake up to the most amazing feeling in the world. Not only am I Gary Barlow’s fiancé, but I remember our life together!

I nibble at Gaz’s earlobe. “Babe…” He bats me away with a weary hand. “Gaz…”

“Five more minutes.”

“I remember.”

That gets his attention. He opens one eye and raises one prominent eyebrow. “Remember what?” he asks warily.

“Everything.”

He sits up, now wide awake. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. From the first time you kissed me after we performed on Strictly Come Dancing to the first time we argued about dog names.”

“First of all, you kissed me that night, and second, Showbiz would have been a terrible name for Hugo.” He breaks into a huge grin. “You have your memory back! I can’t believe it!” He leans in to kiss me.

As I pull back, another realisation hits me. “We need to go back to my flat!”

“What? Why? You just got your memory back. We need to celebrate!”

“Just trust me.”


	23. Chapter 23

Gary’s POV 

I am so ridiculously happy right now that I’d follow Rob anywhere. We’re engaged, and he remembers our life together. That being said, I’d much rather be celebrating in bed at home than driving to his vacant flat, but I’d do anything for this man.

When we get there, he immediately runs up the stairs. I follow suit, quite bemused by his behavior. I find him in the bedroom digging through the nightstand.

“Ah-ha!” 

He holds up a small box triumphantly and then presents it to me. I eye him warily before taking the box from his hand. Inside, I find my missing ring.

“I had it engraved. I guess we both had the same idea.” He gives me that trademark Robbie Williams smirk.

I peek at the inside of the ring. “8 Letters, 3 Words, 1 Meaning - Rob.”

I throw my arms around him and tackle him to the bed while showering him with kisses. He laughs and pushes me off. “Can I put the ring on you?”

I give him the ring and hold my hand out expectantly. 

He shakes his head. “I have to do this properly.” I grin as he slides off the bed and onto one knee.

“You did this yesterday.”

“Shush. I have your actual ring this time.” He grins up at me. “Gary Barlow, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will!” I watch happily as he slides the ring on my finger. I pull him up into a kiss, and we fall back onto the bed together.

After we make love, he kisses the top of my head. “Poor Michael,” he says with a sigh. “First he has to deal with the accident and the amnesia. Now, he’s got to deal with me getting married to another man.”

I giggle and wrap myself in his arms. “Whatever you’re paying him, it’s not enough. But I’ve had a press release drafted months ago.”

The arms tighten around me. “That’s my Gaz.”

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. Thanks for reading and all the comments!


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